Also, her closing call to action sounds more like a threat. You want to leave the reader with an avenue for follow-up, but don't intimidate them into responding. After all, they're not obligated to respond. You want to make them want to reach out to you for more information or next steps.
Use a Letter of Intent if: You want to take serious steps towards negotiating the purchase of all or part of a company. You want to secure your interest in a company and request that the sellers exclude negotiating with another buyer.